


As Long As We're Happy (And Free)

by storyofmyobsessions



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alive Georgie Denbrough, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bisexual Richie Tozier, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I'm bad at tagging and i'm in a rush im sorry ill add more, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Multi, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie and Eddie are both poor as fuck, Richie loves him though, Sad Richie Tozier, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, but it's third person, but they're poor so they don't really use them, eddie doesn't really mind eds, eddie is a mess, more to come - Freeform, okay that's all for now, slow updating because school sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15511341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyofmyobsessions/pseuds/storyofmyobsessions
Summary: Eddie watches with curious eyes while he places the objects on the counter. Eddie looks at him. He can’t really help it. “Why are you always shopping here?” Eddie asks before he can stop himself. He’s been wondering for weeks now, every time he sees the tall boy walk into the store, and he needs to know. Curiosity killed the cat, or whatever.Richie pushes his glasses up his nose. The glasses are taped in the middle and gross looking. Eddie kind of wants to take them off of his face and wipe them off on his uniform. “For some people this is the only place they can afford to shop, Eds,” he says, the dopey grin never once leaves his face. His breath smells minty, Eddie notices, and can’t help but feel relieved that he at least brushes his teeth. He leans forwards, his mop of black curls falling in front of his face. “What about you? Why do you work here?”Eddie looks away suddenly, the eye contact too intense. He considers his response, and he doesn’t look at Richie while he talks. “For some people, this is the only place they can get hired.”





	1. "What The Fuck."

Eddie Kaspbrak got his first job when he was fourteen years old. Now, as a seventeen year old junior in high school, he still has the same job. Don’t get him wrong - he likes his job. The pay is good, and he gets discounts, but here’s the thing. It’s fucking  _ boring _ . Eddie has better things to do with his life than sit behind the counter of the local pharmacy doing crossword puzzles and greeting customers. He has friends - Bill, mostly, and his little brother Georgie. But there are others, too. Sometimes Stanley Uris will come down to the barrens with them, but hanging out with Stan always makes his feel bad about his own situation. There’s Mike, too, and Eddie really likes Mike. He’s kind, and he never makes fun of the way Eddie won’t go past a certain point in the water because it’s dirty, and he’s really attractive. Which. You know, is always a good thing. 

That’s about where the list ends. Bill and Eddie had tried talking to Ben Hanscom on his first day of school as the new kid, but he had been really quiet and avoided them for the rest of the day after that. They didn’t try again. Maybe they should have, because even Eddie will admit it’s gets sad dumping your feelings out to your best friend and his brother because those are the only two people that actually care enough to listen. 

He can’t remember when he first met Bill, because he was there when Eddie’s father dies. Eddie was there when Bill was four and Georgie was being born, then again when Bill was eleven and Georgie got lost in the midst of a storm. Bill and Eddie have always been there, a constant star in each other’s lives, and Eddie doesn’t plan on getting rid of Bill any time soon. But that doesn’t mean he can’t have  _ more  _ friends, right? 

Eddie’s mother hates when he gets new friends. He can’t remember when he started hanging out with Bill, but he can remember that his mother had always hated him. Thought he was making Eddie sick, which Eddie knows now is utter bullshit. She still hates him, but Sonia Kaspbrak can just fuck off. “I’m going to Bill’s, Mama,” he calls out to her that afternoon. She doesn’t have time to even register what he’s said before he’s shutting the door behind him and hopping on his bike. 

He’s had the same bike since he was seven. Bill got it for him for his birthday, along with a helmet and even some knee pads. He only uses the helmet, but even that is a little embarrassing. Who cares if it’s embarrassing? Eddie would rather be laughed at then bust his head open, thank you very much. 

So Eddie places the light blue helmet over his hair gently, brushing the curls out of his face. He needed to get it cut soon, because as much as he liked the idea of disobeying his mother and letting his hair grow out, it was really fucking annoying. He mounted the bike and began on his way to Bill’s. 

The Denbroughs house was like a second home to him. He went there when he found out about the lies his mother had been spewing at him for his entire life, and he stayed for a week before moving back home. Bill had told him that he was welcome any time, but Eddie still felt like he was intruding every once in a while. He parked his bike in their front lawn and smiled at the smell of Mr. Denbrough grilling chicken in their backyard. His mouth watered at the smell, and suddenly he can’t remember when the last time he had a real meal was. The last time he ate dinner at Bill’s, probably. He knocks on the door even though he knows he can just walk in, and grins at Bill when he sees him. “Bill!” 

“Eddie, hey,” Bill says, with less enthusiasm but the grin is definitely there. “I wuh-wasn’t expecting you.”

Eddie shrugs. “Sorry about that. I should have called.”

Bill smiles and tells him it’s okay. And, yeah, Eddie knows it is, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad. Instead of saying this, Eddie just follows Bill through the house. “We’re having chuh-chicken, if you want to stay for d-dinner.”

A half hour later and Eddie is sitting next to Bill at their picnic table outside laughing at something Zack had said, and he’s never felt more comfortable in his entire life. Eddie scarfs down his meal like he’s never eaten in his entire life, and maybe he feels a little sick afterwards, but he doesn’t want to go home. Not yet, anyway. He has something he wants to talk to Bill about. 

He follows Bill up to his room and sits on the bed. Bill’s room isn’t  _ clean,  _ but it’s not dirty, either. It’s a sort of organized chaos, and Eddie envies him. He wishes he could take his clothes off before bed and just throw them on a chair, but he’s terrified of them being dirty, getting his chair dirty, and of all those stories of spiders that hide in piles of dirty clothes. He loves this about Bill. He’s sort of in the middle of clean and messy. Eddie thinks if Bill were any more messy than he already is, Eddie wouldn’t be able to be in his room at all. He guesses that’s what having an insane mother does to a kid. 

“Wuh-What’s this thing you want to t-talk to me about?” Bill asks, settling down on his bed. He leans against the headboard and crosses his legs. 

Eddie sits on the edge of the bed. He taps his fingers on his thigh, thinking about how to say it. “Today, at the pharmacy, there was, uh…” The thing is, Eddie is noticing, is that he’s never talked to Bill about this before. Sure, Bill knows he’s gay. He came out to him when he was fifteen, when he realized liking other boys didn’t make him  _ sick  _ like his mother had told him. Bill is the only person that  _ really  _ knows, but it’s easy to say that if Eddie stood on the table during lunch and announced his gayness to the entire world, nobody would be surprised. So, yeah, Bill knows. But Eddie’s never actually talked to him about it. It was a one-and-done conversation, to say the least. Bill had tried to talk to him about it after the initial coming out, but Eddie always shied away. It was always questions like  _ when did you know?  _ and  _ how did you know?  _ that Eddie never knew how to answer. So they haven’t mentioned it since, and it is 100% Eddie’s fault. But this is something Eddie needs to tell someone about. It’s not the first time he’s seen a cute boy, but usually they cringe and scowl at him when he even  _ looks  _ at them. It’s not like there’s much of a variety in Derry, anyways. But this boy at the pharmacy was  _ different _ . He had grinned at Eddie, raked his hand through his dark curls, had  _ flirted  _ with him for fuck’s sake, and it made something deep in Eddie’s stomach swirl. So he needs to tell Bill, because he can trust Bill. “There was a cute boy at the pharmacy today,” Eddie ends up spitting out, looking down at his hands and willing his cheeks to cool down. 

“Wait, ruh-really?” Bill sits up straight, and Eddie is too scared to look but he thinks Bill is smiling. “That’s awesome, Eddie! Did you talk to him?”

Eddie snorts. “I kinda had to, Big Bill. I’m the cashier, remember?”

Bill reaches out and claps Eddie on the back. “You know what I m-mean.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “I mean, we talked. I checked him out and pretended to be annoyed while he called me cute.”

“He called you c- _ cute _ ?!”

  
Eddie turns to look at Bill with wide eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Bill!” He says, his voice like venom. He doesn’t want anybody to hear this conversation - it’s embarrassing enough as it is. He rakes a hand through his hair. “But, yes, he called me cute. About seven times in the span of one minute.” Bill doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with an excited expression, and Eddie sighs. “He pinched my cheeks, too, which was really fucking annoying. And he called me _Eds_ , which, is awful. And I don’t know what to do, because he was really attractive, but he’s fucking annoying and he talks a lot, but he’s also really tall and did I mention attractive?” Then, as an after thought, “It was kind of endearing.”

“Did you get his number?”

“No!” Eddie snaps, then sighs and lays back on Bill’s bed. “No, I didn’t. But I’m sure he’ll be back.”

Bill raises his eyebrows. “What muh-makes you think that?”

  
“He bought out the whole place. I mean, it’s a pharmacy, and he was buying milk and macaroni and shit. Who comes to a pharmacy to buy that kind of stuff?”

  
“It’s cheap,” Bill says like it’s obvious. Which, maybe it is, but Eddie always seems to miss the obvious stuff. Bill lays back on the bed, too. “I’m gonna huh-hang out with you at the pharmacy until he comes buh-back. You _clearly_ need help with the whole flirting thing. You suh-suh-suck.”

Eddie snorts again. “I wish I did.”

Bill is quiet for a second before he burst out laughing. Eddie laughs, too, because he can’t help it. It  _ was  _ pretty funny. 

* * *

Bill does hang out with him at the pharmacy, and Eddie couldn’t be more grateful. He brings Georgie sometimes, too, but it’s mostly just Bill. Even though Eddie wishes he were here under different circumstances, Bill’s company is nice, and Eddie isn’t one to complain.

They still don’t talk about it. Eddie knows it’s his fault. He wishes he could talk about it more, he really does, but even after all these years his mother’s influence still hangs high above his head and he’s afraid. Afraid of what Bill  _ really  _ thinks, because sometimes the nicest people in the world can be homophobic. Eddie is scared that Bill is just sticking around because he’s too nice, and he doesn’t want to have to explain to Eddie that he doesn’t think it’s okay to pop a boner for another guy, so he just doesn’t. Instead, he sits, and he pretends to be okay with it. So Eddie doesn’t say anything.

He wants to regret telling Bill about the cute boy, but he can’t. He’s ultimately glad that he told someone, because he can’t even imagine the stress he would be under if he kept it all to himself. He doesn’t want to thinks about it, so he talks to Bill instead. 

“He probably won’t be in today,” he tells him. 

“You say that every duh-day,” Bill replies, which is true. “He’ll be back.”

Eddie frowns. “I mean, he bought enough groceries to last at least two weeks.”

Bill doesn’t look at him. He just points at Eddie’s crossword puzzle. “Mountain,” he says. 

It fits.

* * *

 

The day he comes in, Bill is starting to agree with him. “It’s been three weeks,” he says, and he’s looking at Eddie with sad eyes. Like maybe he knows how much this is killing him. It is - killing him. It hurts in his chest and all the way to his toes. He just wanted someone else, dammit. He lives in Derry, Maine, and there are  _ no  _ other gay kids, and then one day an incredibly attractive man walks into the pharmacy and fucking  _ flirts  _ with him, and then he doesn’t show up again. Eddie is a little heartbroken, he thinks, but then again maybe he’s just being dramatic. But Bill is still looking at him with something sad in his eyes, wide and dull, and it only makes Eddie’s chest hurt more. 

“I fucking told you, Billy,” he says. 

Bill is opening his mouth to retort when the door swings open. “Welcome to Derry pharmacy,” Eddie greets. He doesn’t look up, because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the disappointment of not seeing the mop of black curls. 

“Eddie,” Bill whispers, and Eddie lifts his head from the crossword puzzle to glare at him. All the anger in his chest deflates when he sees Bill smiling at him. He’s grinning big, the kind that makes his eyes squint, and Eddie wonders why he was ever mad at him in the first place. Bill nods his head to the dairy aisle. 

Eddie feels all the breath in his body leave, all one fluid motion, because suddenly Eddie can’t breath. There, standing tall in the tiny dairy aisle, is the man of Eddie’s dreams. His curls are contained by a black headband, today, and he looks unfairly good with it. He’s wearing an obnoxious button up shirt with cats all over it and a tee shirt underneath it, and he’s chewing on his thumb nail while he scans the aisle. Bill nudges his side, and when Eddie looks over at him, he has his eyebrows raised. “Is thuh-that him?”

Eddie can only nod. 

The boy doesn’t look their way once while he shops, but he grins at Eddie when he’s walking to the counter, and Eddie can’t find it within himself to be even slightly annoyed. “Eddie Spaghetti!” He greets, and maybe Eddie is a  _ little  _ annoyed. 

“What the fuck.”

“Hi!” Bill says, too enthusiastically. Eddie cringes. “I’m Bill.” 

“Hello there, Bill,” the boy says with a nod in Bill’s direction. “The name is Richie.” It fits, Eddie thinks. Richie. Richie, Richie, Richie. Yeah, it definitely fits, Eddie thinks as he scans the freckles under Richie’s eyes. Richie shakes Bill’s hand, and Bill looks absolutely delighted. “Pleasure’s all yours,” he says to Bill with an obnoxious wink. He turns back to Eddie, smiling. “You a friend of Eds?”

“Eddie,” Eddie says at the same time Bill says, “Yes.”

“Lucky man, lucky man,” Richie says, shaking his head. He’s still smiling, though, and Eddie can’t help but notice how beautiful he is. “He can’t even have a conversation with me without getting all red in the face with anger. He’s still so cute, though!” Richie reaches across the counter to pinch Eddie’s cheeks. 

Eddie slaps his hands away. “Do  _ not  _ touch me!” He says, glaring. He wills the redness in his face to go away. “And how do you know that I’m angry? You don’t even know me.”

Richie just winks. Eddie can’t decide if he wants to kill him or kiss him.

* * *

 

Richie comes to the pharmacy more often. Sometimes he just comes in, looks around for a while, then comes to talk to Eddie as if he didn’t know he was going to be here. Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. The fourth time he actually is buying something, they’ve been talking for nearly four months. 

Eddie watches with curious eyes while he places the objects on the counter. Eddie looks at him. He can’t really help it. “Why are you always shopping here?” Eddie asks before he can stop himself. He’s been wondering for weeks now, every time he sees the tall boy walk into the store, and he needs to know. Curiosity killed the cat, or whatever. 

Richie pushes his glasses up his nose. The glasses are taped in the middle and gross looking. Eddie kind of wants to take them off of his face and wipe them off on his uniform. “For some people this is the only place they can afford to shop, Eds,” he says, the dopey grin never once leaves his face. His breath smells minty, Eddie notices, and can’t help but feel relieved that he at least brushes his teeth. He leans forwards, his mop of black curls falling in front of his face. “What about you? Why do you work here?”

Eddie looks away suddenly, the eye contact too intense. He considers his response, and he doesn’t look at Richie while he talks. “For some people, this is the only place they can get hired.”

Richie hums. He takes the bag of groceries and grins at Eddie. 

_ It’s now or never _ , Eddie tells himself.  _ It’s now or never, so stop being such a fucking wuss and ask him.  _

“Hey, Richie,” he calls out, just as Richie is almost out of the door. Richie turns around and leans his hip on the door, grinning. 

“Hey, Eds.”

Eddie taps his fingers on the counter and thinks about how to word what he’s saying. “Me and my friends,”

“Bill?” 

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, Bill. But, um, some others too.”

“Mmhm,” Richie is still grinning. “What are their names?”

“Mike and Stan,” Eddie says. “I was wondering if you wanted to come down to the barrens with us? Just to hang out. You don’t have to, of course, if you have something to do. Or if you just don’t want to, I mean -” 

“What time do you get off of work?” Richie asks. When Eddie looks up, Richie is still in the same place, with his lips leaning against the door and his arms crossed over his chest. He looks unfairly attractive like that, with his band tee shirt and skinny jeans. Eddie’s heart is beating faster than he thinks it ever has before. 

“3:00,” he answers.

Richie winks. “I’ll be here.”

Eddie guesses this is how it all begins. 


	2. "Wanna Go Together?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fun day with 4/7 of the losers.

English was never Eddie’s favorite class, but he hates it even more this year because Belch Huggins is in his class. He’s not sure how that even happened, because Belch just sleeps through the class, and when he’s not sleeping he’s tormenting Eddie. He’s not as bad as Henry Bowers or Patrick Hockstetter, and he sticks to snarky comments and kicking the back of Eddie’s chair like they’re in the fucking first grade or some shit. 

Eddie tries to focus all of his attention on the teacher, but he doesn’t even understand what she’s saying. He grinds his teeth and keeps his feet planted on the floor. Belch kicks the leg of his desk again. Eddie takes a deep breath. 

Here’s the thing - Eddie has  _ never  _ been good at controlling his anger, so the fact that he hasn’t turned around to snap at Belch is a miracle. He knows it’s coming, though, and so does Belch. Eddie is doing everything in his power to get through this class. He knows if he snaps he’s going to detention. It wouldn’t be the first time, but Eddie can  _ not  _ go to detention today. If Belch kicks his desk one more time, though, Eddie doesn’t know if he could -

“Fucking _hell_ , Belch!” Eddie finds himself shouting, spinning around to face Belch, how is sporting a smug grin. “Can you fucking stop?”  
Belch gives him a shit-eating grin. “Mr. Kaspbrak!” Eddie closes his eyes tightly. Fuck. He turns around slowly, ignoring the muffled laughter from other students, and he smile politely at Mrs. Brown. She was an older lady with wrinkle lines and too much makeup on, and she was glaring at Eddie so hard that he thought maybe she _would_ kill him. “Detention, after school.”

“But, Mrs. Brown -!”

“No buts!” She shouts. “And go to the office. You  _ clearly  _ weren’t getting anything out of this lesson anyways.”

Eddie huffs. He can’t believe he snapped - his self-control is usually so good, but he must have been especially agitated today. He frowns and grabs his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Stanley Uris shaking his head.

* * *

“Bill,” Eddie says after History. “After school - you go ahead and head down to the quarry.”

Bill turns to face him, raising his eyebrows. 

“Detention,” Eddie explains. 

The eyebrows go higher. “Wuh-What did you d-do?” He asks as they reach his locker. Bill is quiet as he enters the combination and opens it. 

Eddie taps his foot and leans against the locker next to Bill’s. “Fucking Belch Huggins keeps messing with me during English. Kicking the back of my chair and making fun of me and all that shit.”

“You snapped?” 

“I snapped,” Eddie tells him. 

Bill shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “Okay. I’ll luh-let the others know. You sure you don’t want me t-to wait for you?” At Eddie’s head shake, Bill shuts his locker. “You puh-p-positive? I could druh-drive you.”

Once again, Eddie shakes his head. “Just go. I can walk, it’s not too far.”

Bill shrugs. “If you suh-say so,” he says, smiling softly. Eddie smiles, too, and heads to his last class of the day.

* * *

After school detention is maybe one of the most boring activities Eddie has ever had to sit through. The teacher left ten minutes in for a ‘bathroom break’ and hasn’t been seen since. With ten minutes left in detention, he sits in the silent room with Betty Ripsom and a stoner kid, tapping his foot and staring at the clock. He finished all of his homework in the first fifteen minutes, and he’s spent the rest of his time fantasizing about being down at the quarry with his friends. 

It’s not even like he’s exceptionally close to all of them. Sure, he loves Bill and would  _ much  _ rather spend time with him splashing around in the water than where he is now. He doesn’t really know much about Mike, though, even as much as he likes him. He wishes with all his heart that he was with Mike right now, with his dark skin and charming personality. 

Most of all, though, he wants to be with Richie. It sounds stupid, considering how long he’s known Bill and the bond they have, but with Richie, it’s different. When Eddie is with Richie, he feels like he’s on fire. Every joke Richie makes, every smile he directs at Eddie, it’s like a fuse running slowly out of time on Eddie’s heart. He’s not sure if he wants to know what that fuse burning out could mean for him. 

What Eddie feels towards the taller boy is something he’s not sure he’s ready to face. He’s aware it’s there - he can’t ignore it. Every time he’s around Richie he feels it, surrounding him and suffocating him and sometimes he wishes he didn’t feel that way because it would be so much fucking easier. He knows, realistically, that he won’t. Eddie hasn’t known Richie for very long. It’s only been two weeks since he invited Richie down to the barrens, but since then he hasn’t been able to keep Richie out of his head. 

When the teacher barges into the room five minutes early, Eddie jumps. The stoner kid laughs. “Go home,” he says, sounding slightly out of breath. “Go on, now!” He shouts when none of them make a move to get up. Eddie scrambles to his feet, throwing the backpack over his shoulder and practically running out of the classroom. 

He slows down once he reaches the hallway, not wanting to over exert himself and have to pull out his inhaler. He makes an extra stop by his locker to get rid of his backpack so he won’t have to carry it all the way to the quarry. 

Eddie feels like he should have expected for Bill’s truck to be parked outside of the school, but he’s still surprised. He shakes his head and walks over to it. He pulls the passenger side door open, climbing into the seat. “I thought I told you not to pick me up - oh. Hey, Richie.”

Richie Tozier is sitting in the driver’s seat. He’s wearing an orange knitted sweater similar to Eddie’s blue one, and skinny jeans. He looks absolutely adorable, but Eddie’s not going to tell him that. He’ll opt for staring in awe instead. “Eds!” Richie says, turning the key. He’s grinning. “Good to see you, too.”

“I just wasn’t expecting you, is all,” Eddie says. He buckles his seatbelt as Richie hums. “I didn’t know you could drive.”

Richie taps the steering wheel and winks at Eddie. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he says. “But, yeah, I can drive. Got my license about a year ago, but I never got a car.” He shrugs. “Billy boy let me borrow the good ol’ truck to pick you up.”

“I could’ve walked.”

“Course you  _ could’ve _ ,” Richie smiles. He looks over his shoulder as he backs out. When he looks back at Eddie, he’s got a dopey grin on his face that makes his eyes squint. It’s probably one of the cutest things Eddie has ever seen. The tips of his ears turn red at the thought. “Maybe I wanted some quality alone time with you.”

Eddie snorts. “Okay, Richie. Whatever you say.”

“That’s the spirit,” Richie says before he cranks the radio up.

* * *

When Eddie gets out of the car, he’s only partially surprised to see Mike Hanlon sitting on a rock besides Bill. He knew Mike was going to be there, but he had said he would be working late with his father and didn’t know what time he’s get there. But he’s there now, laughing at something Richie says as they exit the truck.

Over the past few weeks, Eddie’s invited Richie to almost every get together he has with his friends. He’s met Bill plenty of times now, and is practically officially now a part of their group, but he’s only met Mike once before and is already very comfortable with him. Richie seems to be like that, Eddie notices. He’s very comfortable. 

“Mikey, my main man!” Richie exclaims, patting Mike on the back and dropping onto the ground next to him. “What’s hot? Wait, no - don’t answer that. We  _ all  _ know the answer.” Richie looks around, his gaze landing on Bill. His grin gets impossibly larger. “Isn’t that right, Big Bill?”

Bill doesn’t look amused. “Let me guh-guess,” he says. His auburn hair is shining in the sunlight. “My mom.”

“Ooh, close one!” Richie is still grinning. “It’s actually Eddie’s mom. I mean, have you  _ seen  _ -”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie says off-handedly. 

Richie waves him off. “We gonna go swimming, or what?" 

* * *

Eddie should have known he wouldn’t be prepared to see Richie shirtless. They do it like they did when they were kids, stripping down to their underwear and jumping from the top of the cliff. Soon enough, it’s just Richie and Eddie, looking down on the others as they splash around. “You ready, Spaghetti?” Richie asks, squinting his eyes to shield the sun. 

Eddie shrugs. “I’ve done this before. I feel like I should be asking  _ you  _ that.” 

“You underestimate me, Eds,” Richie says. He’s looking out at the water now. Eddie lets his eyes wander down his defined torso and legs. His eyes snap back up, and he scratches the back of his neck. Richie doesn’t look at him while he speaks. “I’ve done way worse than this.”

“I’m sure you have.”

Richie holds his hand out. “Wanna go together?” He asks, and Eddie’s heart melts. 

“Fuck no,” is what comes out of his mouth. “I can do it.”

He jumps off the cliff and pretends he doesn’t hear Richie whooping in the background.

* * *

Eddie loves talking to Mike. He’s calm, and nice, and one of the best people Eddie has ever met. “What’s it like being home schooled?” Eddie asks him now, laying on the cool rocks just outside of the water.

He sees Mike shrug out of the corner of his eye. “It kind of sucks, to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, I love learning with my mom and all, but it just gets really lonely.”

“You should hang out with us more often,” Eddie says. “We really like hanging with you.”

Mike grins. “Thanks, Eddie. I’d really like that.” He pauses, looks over at Eddie. “I’ll give you my phone number if you ever want to call me when you’re gonna hang.”

“Oh,” Eddie blushes. “Um, you’ll have to give it to Bill. I don’t have a phone.”

“Alright,” Mike answers after a second. If he noticed the redness of Eddie’s cheeks, he doesn’t mention it. “I’ll give it to Bill, then.”

Eddie opens his mouth to respond, but he gets interrupted. “Spaghetti!” Comes Richie’s voice. Eddie externally groans. “Come on down, we’re gonna play chicken. Bring Mike!” 

Smiling over at Mike, Eddie pushes himself to his feet. Mike follows obediently. “He’s something, isn’t he?”

  
“Yeah,” Eddie says, not being able to control the smile breaking out on his face. “Yeah, he’s something, alright.”

When they get in the water, Richie throws an arm around Eddie. “Eds, wanna get on my shoulders?” He asks, grinning. Eddie pushes his arm away and pretends he doesn’t miss the heat. Richie looks gorgeous, with his wet hair sticking to his forehead and his face tinted red from being in the sun and his wet, inviting lips. Eddie kind of wants to roll over and die. Anything would be better than having to look at Richie like this and not being able to have him. 

“Eddie’s on muh-my team,” Bill says, cutting in. Eddie tears his gaze away from Richie’s face. He smiles at Bill, a silent thanks, because he doesn’t know if he would be able to handle Richie gripping his bare thighs with large hands. He shudders at the thought. 

Richie throws an arm around Eddie again, pulling him flush against his side. Eddie can  _ feel  _ his face heating up. “Says who?”

Bill raises an eyebrow. “Says  _ me _ . You cuh-couldn’t lift him anyways, Richie. Nuh-Not with those noodle arms, anyways,” he flashes a grin. 

“How  _ dare  _ you!” Richie shouts in mock hurt. He removes his arm from Eddie’s shoulder to point at Bill, but Eddie stays right by his side. “I am very strong, thank you very much. Here,” he turns to Eddie, looking down at him with a mischievous grin. Eddie can’t help but feel nervous. “I’ll prove it.”

Eddie catches on. He steps away from Richie. “No, absolutely not. Richie, I swear - do not fucking touch me, Rich!” 

His shouts get ignored as Richie bends down and easily picks his up, throwing him over his shoulder. Eddie shrieks as Richie laughs. Reaching down, he hits Richie on the back of the leg. “Fuck!” Richie shouts. “Jesus, Eds. That was fucking rude.”

Eddie tries to ignore Richie’s ass, right in front of his face, but it’s kind of hard. How could not look? It’s not like anyone would ever find out, anyways. “Put me  _ down _ ,” he growls. Richie simply laughs and says something to Bill that Eddie can’t hear before he’s being pulled back over Richie’s shoulders and placed in the ground. Eddie wipes the wet hair from his forehead and takes a step closer to Bill, glaring at Richie the entire time. 

In the end, Eddie is on Bill’s shoulders. He climbs up at the same time as Richie climbs onto Mike’s shoulders, grinning at Eddie. “You’re going down, Spaghetti,” he warns. 

“Yeah, right,” Eddie snorts. He reaches forward to push Richie at the same time the raven haired trashmouth reaches forward to push his. Their hands link fingers intertwining, and both Richie and Eddie stop for a second to stare at them. Eddie is in awe at their hands, the contrast of the skin, but he gets a hold of himself and pushes Richie into the water.

* * *

“You didn’t have to walk me home,” Eddie says for maybe the fourth time on the entire walk. 

Richie shrugs. “I told you,” he says, and Eddie stares at his mouth. The sunset does wonders to people, Eddie notices. It gives Richie’s skin a flush as he grins at Eddie, his hair drying and curling around his ears, his eyes sparkling behind his bulky glasses. “It’s no big deal. I, uh,” he pauses, debating. “I live down this way anyways.”

Sighing, Eddie nods. When Richie had offered to walk Eddie home, this had not been what he had expected. Richie shouting and running and making a fool of himself would be better than this. Walking side-by-side in silence, hands brushing, both of their cheeks burning red. Still, though, Eddie finds his stomach dropping as they reach his front porch. “Not what you were expecting?” Eddie says more than asks, looking up at his own one story house. The blue paint is chipping slowly and the grass is brown and the plants are dying, the house is rusting, caving in on itself. Kind of how Eddie feels sometimes, but he would never tell anyone that. “It’s worse on the inside,” he tells Richie. He’s not lying, either. 

“No, it’s not that -” Richie shakes his head. “Mine’s worse,” he adds quietly, smiling softly at Eddie. 

Eddie laughs. “I seriously doubt that,” Eddie tells him. Richie raises his eyebrows, and Eddie lets out a heavy breath. “Well. Thank you, Richie.” He smiles up at Richie, finding himself not wanting to let go. “For walking me.”

After a moment of hesitation, Eddie pushes up on his toes and presses a soft kiss to Richie’s cheek. He can feel his own face burning as he lowers himself, and is pleased to see Richie’s face is, too. “I’ll see you later, Rich,” he smiles. 

“Yeah!” Richie smiles now, all teeth and happiness. It makes Eddie’s head spin. “See you later, Spaghetti Man.”

Eddie glares. “Not if you keep calling me that, you won’t!” 

Richie laughs. As mad as he seems, Eddie still watches through the kitchen window of his house until Richie disappears around the corner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> firstly, sorry this chapter took so freaking long. school is starting back up in two weeks so I've been getting mentally and physically prepared for that. I'm going to use that as my excuse if this chapter sucks, too, so. I hope you enjoy? let me know what you think? It would be greatly appreciated :)


	3. "It Should Be Easy!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie's day and interactions with Bill, Ben, and Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to update, school is coming up so I've been pretty busy lately. sadly, like I said, school is starting soon, so I'll probably update even less frequently. who knows, though, maybe I'll end up writing 24/7 instead of doing my homework. 
> 
> let me know what you think of this chapter. everything you like, everything you didn't like, constructive criticism is much appreciated, and every comment means something to me. they keep me going, get me through the day and the next chapter and all that fun stuff. 
> 
> okay, I hope you enjoy and it doesn't seem too rushed and forced. please, let me know what you think :)

“I’m so fucking done with this,” Eddie declares loudly. He throws the paper down on the bed and lays his body back, groaning dramatically. 

Bill blinks up at him from his spot on the floor. “It’s just stuh-statistics, Eddie.” 

Eddie glares at him. It was a regular thing by now. Eddie coming over to Bill’s after school to get some homework done, complaining, and Bill telling him subtly that he was being dramatic as fuck. “It’s fucking stupid, is what it is.” He sits up on the bed and picks the paper up again, looking it over. “I mean, honestly, Billy. When am I ever going to use this?”

“Suh-some p-people want careers in that st-stuff,” Bill says without looking up from his paper. 

“Well then it should be an elective, or something!” 

Bill sets the paper down next to him and stands up. “I’m gonna g-go get me some water,” he tells Eddie. “You want some?” 

Eddie nods, biting his lip. There’s an apology on the tip of tongue, but the way Bill is looking at him (big, blue eyes and a sad smile that says so much more than Eddie’s ready to hear) tells Eddie that it goes unsaid. Lately, Eddie has been on edge and dramatic and irritable so often that Bill just knows, and Eddie is so fucking thankful for Bill Denbrough. 

He watches Bill go, sighing to himself. When did he get like this?

(He knows the answer to that question but he’s not ready to admit it to himself. Will he ever be ready? When will it stop feeling like this?)

When Bill comes back, he sits next to Eddie on the bed and hands him a glass of water. Eddie thanks him. Bill is quiet for a second, studying Eddie’s side profile, before he speaks. “Do you want to tuh-talk about it?” He asks. Out of everything Eddie was thinking Bill might say, that was not one of them. With Bill and Eddie, there was an unspoken rule that you never, not  _ ever _ , asked to talk about it. The other would simply tell you when they were ready to talk, and that was that. So when those words came from Bill, quiet and stuttered and calm, Eddie’s entire figure goes stiff. 

He doesn’t look at Bill. He shakes his head. 

“Eddie,” Bill says, “you need to. I’m nuh-not going to force it out of you, but this is s-something we need to talk about.”

Eddie shakes his head.  _ No _ .

“Come on, Ed-Eddie.”

“No, Bill,” Eddie snaps, turning his head to the side. Then, a moment later, softly, “I can’t.”

“Well, why not?” Bill asks, as if it’s the simplest thing in the entire world. Then again, maybe it is and Eddie’s just being dramatic. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

Sniffling, Eddie rubs at his eyes. “I thought it would be easier, you know?” The words just some out of him, unprepared and clawing at his throat like a tiger trying to fight it’s way out of a zoo that no one visits. At Bill’s quiet, prompting  _ what? _ , Eddie decides there’s no going back. “Liking someone. Like, a genuine like, not an attraction. Bill, I feel like I’m going crazy.”

Bill is silent. The only sound in the room is Eddie’s sniffles. 

“It should be _easy_!” He insists. “But it’s not, and I don’t know what to do about it.”  
“I can’t help you if you d-don’t specify,” Bill finally says. 

Eddie huffs. “I’m fucking trying, Bill. It’s just - I - fuck,” he laughs humorlessly. “I thought it would be easier to accept myself, I guess.” He glances at Bill as he says it, taking in the confused expression on his face. “Just now that I actually have feelings - romantic ones, at that - it feels so  _ real _ . And wrong, somehow. I don’t know why, Billy,” he looks up at Bill, his brown eyes filling with unshed tears. 

Bill scoots over on the bed so their thighs are touching, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. He unintentionally leans into the embrace, his face in the crook of Bill’s neck. “There’s nothing wrong with l-luh-liking boys, Eddie. You know that. I mean, sure, Ruh-Richie’s a chaotic mess, but there’s wrong with feeling huh-how you feel.”

In Bill’s embrace like this, Eddie feels all but seven years old again. He’s sure he’s getting Bill’s shirt wet, but he doesn’t care as he further pushes himself again the taller boy, seeking refuge. He wraps both his arms around Bill’s shoulders, smiling softly into his neck. There’s something about the stuttered words of comfort from Bill that never fail to make Eddie smile. 

“Thank you, Billy,” he whispers, and it hangs in the air around them, surrounding them and taking them back to simpler times, when they could go down to the barrens and build dams and their only worries were Henry Bowers and his crazy friends. Now it’s them, and so much more, but Eddie thinks nothing could ever be terribly awful is he has Bill Denbrough by his side.

* * *

The next day at school, he gets paired with Ben Hanscom for a science project. Ben is quiet and good natured, with sandy blonde hair and a bigger figure. Eddie still remembers when they were in the sixth grade and Ben was about as fat as they come, with baby cheeks and an endless supply of sweatshirts. Now, though, he’s somewhere in between. He never dropped the baby cheeks, but he joined the track team and you can definitely tell. He undeniably attractive, with a sweet smile and sparkly white teeth.

“Do you understand any of this?” Eddie asks him, staring down at the paper in front of him with furrowed eyebrows. 

Ben hums. “Kind of,” he says. His voice is deep, and Eddie’s stomach swoops. “I mean, I build stuff all the time.”

“You do?” Eddie looks up, his chest feeling with relief at Ben’s nod. “Okay, that’s awesome! Really, we could definitely use that. Okay,” he flips the paper over, scanning the words. “Do you have any like, uh.. plans, or whatever?”  
“Blueprints?” Ben laughs quietly. 

Eddie nods. “Yeah, those. Do you have any?” 

“I do, yeah, but most of them are stuff for outdoors,” he tells Eddie, frowning at his desk. “I’m sure I have something, though. I can look through all my stuff, or even draw something new, and then we can -”

Eddie cuts him off with a smile. “Are you free after school today?” At Ben’s nod, Eddie keeps talking. “Me too. We could just get together after school today, if that’s okay? We could brainstorm, or something.”

“That would be awesome!” Ben grins over at him, his eyes crinkling in the slightest on the sides. “Yeah, you can come over to mine. I mean, if you want to, that is.”

“That would be good.”

The bell cuts off their conversation, and Eddie stands up next to Ben to grab his things. He notices how much taller Ben is than him, probably around 4 or 5 inches, which puts him around 5’10. Impressed, Eddie picks up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. He remembers when Ben was younger, short and fat, the same height as Eddie. Eddie, at 5’6, has always been shorter than most people. But so had Ben, and even now, after not ever really talking to Ben, he’s incredibly proud of him for his personal growth. 

“I’ll meet you after school?” Eddie suggests, smiling up at Ben. Smiling as well, Ben nods and turns to go. 

Eddie does meet Ben outside after school with Bill, who smiles sweetly. “Huh-Hey, Ben,” he says, shifting his backpack on his shoulders. Ben nods at him, looking slightly uncomfortable, so Eddie buts in. 

“Um, Bill was saying earlier that he could drive us over to your house, if you want. I’ve noticed you have a bike, so it was just a thought.”

Bill smiles again, this time with teeth. Straight or not, a smile like that from Bill Denbrough could charm anyone. Ben, although shocked, looks slightly relieved. “That would be nice,” he says with a bit of hesitancy. 

“G-Great!” Bill pulls his keys from his pocket, swinging them around on his finger. “You can even sit in the front. Truh-Trucks this way,” he informs them, pointing to his left. Eddie and Ben follow slightly behind them, which Ben uses as an opportunity to tell Eddie that, really, he doesn’t have to sit in the front, he’s fine with the back. He looks so sincere and honestly upset that he might be taking something away from Eddie that he almost sits in the front just so Ben won’t look at him with those sad eyes anymore. In the end, though, Eddie sits in the middle of the backseat, listening to Ben give directions to his house, a smile on his face. 

Ben’s room is somehow not at all what Eddie had been expecting, but it makes perfect sense. He had been expecting a quiet room, with plain walls and clean floors and a made bed. However, watching Ben stand in this room with a sheepish smile on his face, surrounded by paper all over the walls, he looks like he fits. The covers on the bed are hastily pulled back. There’s a chair in the corner of the room with clothes in it. It looks like a room that a teenage boy is living in, and Eddie longs for it. He walks over to the closest wall, looking closely at some of the papers on it. “This is really cool,” Eddie says, not at all surprised by the sheer honestly in his voice. “What is all of this?”

“Oh,” Ben says. He sounds like he really is surprised by Eddie’s reaction, and Eddie wonders if he’s ever had someone to show his room to before. “I, uh, never really had any friends, so I spent most of my time doing research in the library.”

“This is really neat,” Eddie tells him, glancing over his shoulder and smiling at Ben. He trails his finger along the wall as he walks. “You like history?”

Ben nods, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah, I love it.”

“I wish I liked it. Maybe then I could actually get a decent grade in history.”

Laughing, Ben sits down on his bed. “I guess everyone has their thing,” he says sweetly. “I could always help you out with history, too. If you need it.”

“That would actually be awesome,” Eddie sighs. He moves towards Ben, sitting down on the bed next to him. “I could really use some tutoring.”

Ben smiles again. It’s quiet for a moment, both of them sitting there, crickets in the air. “Um,” Ben bites his lips. He stands up, walking over to his desk. Eddie follows, suddenly unsure of what to do. “These are my blueprints, if you want to check them out.” He hands Eddie a stack of papers.

Gently, Eddie begins to flip through them. They really are amazing, just sketches of buildings and small structures. The lines look fluid, not that Eddie really knows what he’s talking about, but he can spot talent. “These are awesome,” Eddie says, awe evident in his voice. His eyes flicker up at Ben, and back down to the drawings. “Really, Ben. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“Thanks,” Ben says, and Eddie can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s not used to being complimented. 

“Really, they are,” Eddie says again. He picks one up, studying it closely. “We could do this one.”  
The blueprint shows a big box with a slingshot on the top, resembling some sort of cannon. It’s really cool, and it looks fairly simple, which is good. When he looks over at Ben, Ben is studying the paper as well. He nods his head. “Yeah, that one could work. It wouldn’t take very long, either.”

Eddie nods. “You’re right. We could get started this weekend, if that’s fine with you.”

Ben seems to light up at this. He starts to smile, nodding his head happily. “This weekend is fine with me! You could come over here, if you want. I’ll have all the supplies ready.”

Smiling, Edie agrees, and he gives Ben a wave as he begins to walk home.

* * *

When he walks down his street, he sees a mysterious figure on his front lawn. Laying in the grass, long limbs spread out, is Richie Tozier. He’s wearing a button up with dogs all over it and a tie dye tee shirt, and he looks so ridiculous that Eddie has to crack a smile. “Richie,” he says, and Richie stands up to smile at him. His hair, usually down and unruly, a massacre of black curls, is up in two buns on the sides of his head. He looks fucking adorable, and Eddie wants to grab the collar of his shirt and yank him down to kiss him. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, Eds!” He says, spreading his arms out. “Been waiting here forever, where the hell have you been?”

Frowning, Eddie takes a step back. “How do you know where I live?” 

Richie takes a step forward, still smiling. “Billiam told me. Also, I walked you home about a week ago,” Richie frowns. He reaches out, but Eddie steps out of his grip. He feels like he can’t breathe, his hands fumbling down to his fanny pack. He unzips it with shaking hands, looking down frantically until he finds the blue inhaler. He reaches up and take a huff of breath. Richie looks concerned. This time when he reaches out, his hands grip the sleeve of Eddie’s tee shirt. “Eds, are you okay?”  
“Fine, fine,” Eddie waves his hand dismissively. “You should go home.”

“What?”

“Go home, Richie,” Eddie says again, stepping out of Richie’s grip. He can’t even bring himself to look at Richie, he feels too ashamed, because he knows he’s being a dick. He takes another puff from his inhaler. “I can’t - fuck, Richie. I can’t deal with this right now.”

Richie shakes his head. His serious expression looks out of place, especially with the two buns, but Eddie can’t bring himself to smile at the ridiculous expression. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.” Eddie is wheezing again. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him, why he’s freaking out, or why he’s having this fucking asthma attack, and he hates himself for it. “You can’t deal with what, Eds?”

“You!” Eddie shouts. He doesn’t know where that came from, either. “I can’t - you being here, at my house, I can’t -”

“Hey, hey,” Richie places two hands on his shoulders. “It’s gonna be fine. I’ll get out of your hair, but not until you calm down, okay?”

God, Eddie is so embarrassed right about now. He can’t believe he’s having a fucking panic attack because Richie is standing in his front yard. “I’m so sorry,” Eddie says quietly, and he means it. He’s so fucking sorry that he can’t invite Richie inside like a normal person because through those front doors is a personal living nightmare of an overbearing mother and chipping paint and bugs and dust and no money. 

“It’s okay, Eds. You’re gonna be okay.” 

Once Eddie calms down, he convinces Richie to leave. He reluctantly walks away, looking over his shoulder every second. Eddie walks up his front porch, his breathing still slightly uneven, and he walks through the front door of his house. 

His mother is on the couch, asleep, a bowl of microwaved macaroni next to her. Eddie shakes his head and walks down the hall to his room. He falls face down on his bed, and cries himself to sleep. 


	4. "Is There Something Wrong With That?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie does a lot of things he's been wanting to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, so sorry this took to long. I hope it's okay! please let me know. school is being a brat, so, chapters won't be as often. sorry.

Eddie tries to spend the least amount of time at home as possible. The place just holds too many ghosts. But when he is there, he spends all of his time taking care of his mother or hiding away in his room. 

He doesn’t like his house for a reason. The cracks in the walls remind him of the cracks in his heart. The chipped paint just reminds him of his father, and how they lost everything, and everything they used to have. Now, Eddie stands in the kitchen, tapping his fingers on the dirty countertops and staring into the pot. He’s making macaroni (one of the only edible things left in his house nowadays) and waiting for his mother to wake up. 

It’s Saturday, and Eddie was supposed to be meeting his friends at the quarry, but his mother is ‘sick’. In reality, she’s just throwing another fit because Eddie wanted to hang out with his friends. 

“Ma?” He says, peeping around the corner. She’s asleep on the couch, her head falling back, and the radio playing an old talk show. Sonia Kaspbrak is a large women; she’s got fat rolls coming out of her neck, and she can barely walk without assistance. She sits on the couch listening to the radio all day, only gaining weight and dying slowly, becoming more and more depressed every single day. The only times she leaves the house are to go to her sisters and talk about Eddie, her disappointing, gay son. Eddie doesn’t really care anymore. “Ma,” he says again, and she stirs. “You’re macaroni is ready.”

“Eddie-bear,” she whines, reaching out with her arm. It’s pitiful. “Come sit with me.”

Eddie almost scoffs. “The macaroni is ready,” he repeats. “Want me to bring it to you?” 

When she nods her head, Eddie grabs the whole pot and brings it to her. She’ll end up eating the whole thing anyways.

* * *

“Do you think I could get a cat?” Richie asks him, jumping on the counter in the pharmacy. He studies the bag of chips he’s holding closely before reaching in and shoving three in his mouth. “I really want a cat.”

Jolie, one of Eddie’s co-workers, pushes him in the back and off the counter. “I have kittens,” she says after, smiling at Richie. “My cat gave birth about a week ago. You can come look, if you want.” 

Eddie has a theory - he sees the way Jolie looks at Richie, and he doesn’t like the way it makes his stomach boil. He thinks maybe Jolie likes Richie. Which wouldn’t surprise Eddie, because Richie is charming and funny and she would honestly be kind of stupid not to like him. But still, it makes his stomach boil, and his head hurt. “What would you do with a cat, Rich?”

“I would love it, Eds,” he says seriously, looking Eddie dead in the eyes. 

Eddie glares at him. Jolie laughs. “Seriously, though,” she says, “You could come whenever. Bev’s a little attached to them, though, so you might have to pry them from her.” 

“Bev?” Richie asks. “Who’s Bev?”

“Oh,” she smiles slightly, her cheeks turning red. “Beverly is my girlfriend.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Girlfriend?”

She looks nervous, her eyes darting back and forth from Richie and Eddie. “Is there something wrong with that?”

Richie hops off the counter, and swallows her in a hug. Jolie is short - shorter than Eddie by three inches - so Richie  _ literally  _ swallows her. Her head comes just below his chest, and Eddie can hear her laughing. “My sweet, sweet, gay baby!” Richie cries, swaying back and forth. 

“Bi,” she corrects. 

“Sweet Jesus, we’re one in the same!”

Eddie laughs, too. Out of complete happiness, because Richie just admitted to being bi. Eddie has a chance. But now, he knows that there are people he can trust with his secret, and that there are more people in the world than Bill. So he joins in on the hug, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist and settling his hand on Jolie’s shoulder. He whispers into the hug that he’s gay, that he loves boys, and when Richie’s hand settles on his hip, he can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face.

* * *

He’s hanging out at the quarry the next day with Richie, Stan, Bill, Mike, Ben, and Jolie and Beverly on the way. It’s weird now that he has more friends, more people to hang out with at the quarry. He feels nice, though, sitting in between Stan and Mike, smiling at Richie from across the way. He shifts, waiting for a lull in the conversation. Mike and Ben are talking about architecture, with everyone slipping a comment in every once in a while. Eddie sits, silently, bouncing his leg up and down and up and down, wringing his hands together.

Immediately, when it’s quiet for even a second, he says, “I’m gay.” 

Bill looks up in surprise, his eyes wide as he looks at Eddie. Eddie doesn’t necessarily blame him, because he didn’t think he would actually do it. Richie, though is grinning at Eddie as if he hung the moon. It takes up his whole face, his glasses slipping down his nose, and he claps his hands together. 

“I’m bisexual,” Stan says. 

“Me, too,” a voice says behind Eddie. He turns around to find Jolie standing with a red headed girl he can only assume is Beverly. The girl is absolutely beautiful, with bright blue eyes and pretty pink lips stretched into a smile, and red hair cascading past her shoulders.

She’s holding hands with Jolie, and Richie is the first to stand up. “You must be Bev!” He shouts, arms open wide, a big grin occupying his face. He rushes over to Beverly, immediately hugging her. “Jo didn’t tell me you were so pretty!”

“Of course she is, Rich,” Jolie laughs, rolling her eyes. “I do have standards, you know.” Richie waves her off, diving into a conversation with Beverly. The two look like they’ve known each other for forever, but Eddie knows for a fact that they’ve never met before today. When Jolie comes over to Eddie, she sits next to him. “You did it?” She asks, her eyes wide with excitement. Eddie nods, a shy smile on his own face. “That’s awesome, Eddie! I’m so proud of you.”

Smiling, Eddie looks over his shoulder at Richie. “Thanks.”

Jolie knowingly nudges his shoulder. “I think he likes you, you know.” At Eddie’s confused look, she shakes her head. “Richie, you idiot. He’s totally into you.” 

Eddie scowls. “I am  _ not  _ having this conversation right now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waves her hand dismissively, but she drops the topic. She always does. Eddie loves her for that, in the least heterosexual way possible. “The are your friends you’re always talking about?” She asks next, her eyes dancing around the group of boys sitting on logs and conversing with one another. 

Eddie can’t help but smile. He’s only been hanging out with all five of them for a month, but he fucking loves his friends. “Yeah. These are them.” He taps his foot on the ground. “Apparently only like, half of them are straight, so.”

“Hm,” Jolie laughs quietly. “Well, you know what they say. The gays always find each other.”

* * *

Bill walks home with Eddie. Eddie tries to ignore the way Richie’s eyes fall downward, and his lips point into a small frown when Bill announces this, but Bill looks like he has something to talk to Eddie about, so he lets it go.

“I want to guh-get you a phone,” Bill says casually about halfway through the walk home. Bill lives relatively near Eddie, so they walk in the same direction the whole time. Eddie thinks briefly that Richie does, too, but he’d opted to stay back for a smoke with Beverly. Then he realizes what the fuck Bill just said. 

His head swivels to look at Bill so quickly he thinks his neck might break. Bill isn’t even looking at his, just swinging his arms absentmindedly in the space between them and looking out at the sunset. Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Absolutely not,” he says. “No way in hell are you doing that, Bill.”

Bill pouts. “What if I wuh-want t-to?”

  
“I said no, Billy.”

“Why nuh- _ not _ ?”

Eddie shakes his head and lets out a heavy breath. “I don’t need one. I’ve gone seventeen years without a phone, I think I’ll be just fine until I can buy one of my own.”

“I know, I know,” Bill sighs. He rakes a hand through his pretty auburn hair. “It’s just - Mike asked me t-today why you duh-didn’t have a phone, and I didn’t ruh-really know what to t-tell him.” He gives Eddie a meaningful look. “Either you need to tell them the truth, or you need to let me get you a phone.”

He doesn’t stutter at all in the ending statement, which kind of sets Eddie off guard. “I know. I just don’t really feel like talking to people about my dead father and deadbeat mother right now, okay?” 

Raising his hands in defeat, Bill finally turns his head to look at Eddie. “Look, I un-understand that. I do. But you’re going to have to eventually. Ruh-Ruh-Richie told me about your freak out the other day when he came to your house. He’s worried about you.”

“Get to the point, Bill,” he says, because they’re nearing his house and he doesn’t want his mom to see him with Bill. He doesn’t really feel like dealing with her bullshit tonight.

“I thuh-think you need to start letting people in, Eddie. People besides me.” He narrows his eyes. “Richie people.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but there’s a small smile there. “Fuck off, Billy.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Bill laughs. “I am buh-buying you that phone, though.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie says, giggling. He knocks his shoulder against Bill’s, laughing when the taller boy loses his balance and tumbles to the side a bit. A silence falls over the both of them as they stare at the road ahead of them. Eddie’s house is getting closer by the second, the chipping blue paint becoming clearer and clearer with every step they take. When they inevitably reach his driveway, he stares at the house for a moment. He takes it in, watches the dying flowers shine in the sunlight. He thinks the flowers kind of resemble how he feels on the inside, dying but trying to hold on, trapped at the hell house by the force of his crazy mother. He turns to Bill, staring up at him, tapping his foot. “Wanna come inside?” He asks before he can stop himself. 

Bill snaps his head to look down at Eddie. “What about your mom?”

  
“Fuck my mom,” Eddie says, shrugging. “Come in. I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Sure thuh-thing, then.”

Eddie nods and smiles. “Okay,” he lets out a shaky breath and nods again. “Well. Let’s go.” In the moment he invited Bill into his house, he had felt beyond brave. He wanted to look his mother in the eye, say  _ hey, Mom, Bill’s gonna hang out here for a while, I hope that’s okay _ , and send a secret message of  _ hey, Mom, fuck you _ . Now, though, he wonders if that feeling was every really there at all, because his stomach is twisting and his head kind of hurts and he feels like he could fall over any second now. He stops right in front of the door, stretches his hand out towards it, and looks at Bill over his shoulder. Bill, who is giving him the softest of smiles, and whose eyes are giving away everything he feels on the inside. 

Even Bill looks kind of nervous, which isn’t helping with the situation much. 

Before Eddie’s hand can touch the doorknob, the door is being swung open and they are face-to-face with Sonia Kaspbrak and all her 5’7, 250 pound glory. 

“Hey, Ma,” Eddie says with a fake bright smile.

She stares down at him with beady eyes. “Eddie,” she says. Her eyes flicker to Bill. “I see you brought a friend.”

Eddie looks at Bill. He doesn’t know what to say. “I - uh, yeah. I did, I brought - um, I brought -”

“Huh-Hi, Mrs. K.” Bill cuts in, smiling at Sonia. 

“Bill,” she nods at him. “Eddie, may I speak to you for a second?” 

Eddie nods, turning his head to look at Bill. “You can head up to my room, if you want to. I should be there in a second.” When Bill nods and starts to walk away, Eddie turns his head back to his mother. He smiles fakely. “You wanted to talk?” 

“What do you think you’re doing, Edward?” She says immediately, sitting down at the kitchen table. She shakes her head and sighs. “Bringing people into the house without warning me. Especially - my gosh, Eddie. Especially that Denbrough kid. You  _ know  _ what happened that summer, Eddie. Their kid went  _ missing _ . How do you stick up for that child, when his parents let their child run around in storms by themselves. Huh, Eddie? How do you?” She slams her fist on the table, practically yelling now. He wonders if Bill is listening. 

“Mom, can we please talk about this later?” Eddie pleads. This is exactly what he was looking to avoid. 

She ignores him. “I think you need to stop spending so much time out of the house, Eddie-Bear,” she’s using the soft voice now. The one she used to manipulate him for his entire life. “It’s not doing you any good. You’re bringing people into the house, forgetting to take your meds. This is - it’s ridiculous, Eddie. I can help you.” She reaches her hand out. “Let you Ma help you.”

“No!” Eddie snaps. He takes a step back, away from the woman in front of him. 

She blinks at him behind her glasses. “What did you just say?”

  
He takes a deep breath. “I said no,” he says, the confidence from earlier seeping through his bones. “I can’t do this anymore, Ma. I can’t deal with the lying and manipulation. You need to let me hang out with my friends when I want to. I am seventeen years old, mother.” He takes another breath, looking over his shoulder. He sees the stairs, and waits for his escape. “Now, I’m going to go upstairs and hang out with my best friend of over _seven years_ , and you’re going to let me.”

He makes eye contact with her, and notices her wet eyes. Eddie almost laughs, because of fucking  _ course  _ she’s pulling the tears card now. He’s not going to fall for it this time, though. There’s no way. “Okay, well,” he turns towards the doorway. “I’ll see you later, I guess.”

* * *

“This is fucking crazy,” Richie says, leaning forwards. His forehead falls against the glass, his glasses clinking and his eyes searching. “What do you think, Eds? What do you wanna see?”

Eddie rips his gaze away from Richie. He’s been doing that a lot lately, he’s notices. Watching the way Richie’s eyes light up at certain topics and darken at others. Or how he bites his lip when he has a joke to say and is holding it in for the sake of the others. He’s not even surprised by it anymore. “Um,” Eddie begins to chew on his lower lip. “I dunno. That one looks good.” He points at a random movie in the case at the Aladdin. He and Richie are hanging out (by themselves) ( _ it’s a date _ , something whispers in the back of Eddie’s mind), walking aimlessly around town, when Richie had suggested they go see a movie. Eddie had some cas from his payday in his pocket, so he agreed. 

That how he got where he is now, standing next to Richie, overwhelmed. He doesn’t even know what it is about Richie today. Maybe it’s the denim jacket, or the cologne he’s wearing, or how he’s standing so close to Eddie. Because he  _ is _ . He is standing so close to Eddie, and their elbows are knocking together and he has to overwhelming desire to reach out and grab Richie’s hand in his own. He doesn’t know what to think when Richie is acting the way he is. When he stand close and acts like it isn’t weird to flirt and brush arms and hands and turning to look down at Eddie, his curls falling into his forehead, his lips so plush against the sunlight. 

“Hey,” he says, voice so quiet, almost like it’s a secret. 

Eddie can’t help himself when he giggles out a, “Hello.”

“God,” Richie doesn’t even seem to realizes that he leaning towards Eddie. Their lips aren’t even close, because Richie is so much fucking taller than Eddie is. His lips could touch Eddie's forehead any second now, though, and it’s making Eddie’s head spin. “You’re so fucking adorable.:

Eddie shoves RIchie’s chest. “Don’t say that,” he says, glaring up at Richie with a tiny smile on his face. “I’m not adorable. I could beat the shit out of you.”

“Trust me, Eddie Spaghetti, I know you could.”

“Don’t call me that, either, dick!” 

They end up choosing a random movie that neither of them have heard of before and sitting in the very back of the almost empty theater. Richie bought a large popcorn and a soda, and he sits with his feet propped up on top of the chair in front of him. Eddie doesn’t know why, but he is just now noticing how fucking long Richie's legs are. They stretch out completely, and they still go past the chair in front of them. Richie is lanky, and he’s not the brightest, or the cutest, or the  _ funniest _ , but there’s something about him that makes Eddie lean back in his seat and think,  _ God, I really fucking like him.  _


	5. "Who's To Say I Like Him?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil fluff bc ive been gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so like ive been gone forever sksks and i am so so sorry about that. this chapter is short and probably sucks but im like. and this is super hard for me but i dont know if i can finish this story... like the motivation just isn't there anymore. im so so sorry for those of you who enjoyed this story!!!

At school the next Monday, Eddie starts to wonder. He’s never seen Richie at school before. He can’t believe he hasn’t noticed it before today, considering how obsessed he’s been with Richie from the moment he first saw him. He’s noticing it now, though, and it’s been bugging him since fourth period. Now, in seventh, he can’t keep himself from tapping his foot on the ground in a repetitive manner. Mr. Charles, the history teacher, is droning on and on about the Civil War, but all that Eddie is thinking about is that he hasn’t seen Richie at school, he’s never seen Richie before that day he showed up at the pharmacy, and he has no idea where Richie even came from. 

After school, he sits quietly with Bill in the waiting line at the Middle School. Him and Georgie are coming to work with him today. When Georgie comes running out of the doors of the school, small hands gripping the straps of his backpack tightly, nike shorts and tennis shoes and a nike shirt, Eddie can feel his heart lightening. Georgie hops into the backseat of the truck, grinning. “Eddie!” He says, throwing his backpack on the seat. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Eddie turns around in his seat. “Hey, Georgie,” he says, a smile of his own on his face. 

“It’s buh-been a week, Georgie,” Bill says. 

“How was school?” Eddie asks, ignoring Bill’s comment. 

Georgie’s grin got bigger. “It was awesome!” he says, bouncing a little in his seat. As Georgie begins on a rant about his day at school, Eddie leans his head against the window. The drive to the pharmacy is less than two minutes, but it feels like eternity to Eddie. He can’t seem to stop thinking about Richie, so he distracts himself by listening to Georgie. “... and then we watched a movie in science. It was so cool! She let us have snacks, too.”

“So you like your teacher, then?” Eddie asks, turning around to smile at the young boy. 

Bill nods along with Georgie. “I thuh-think I had her, too,” Bill says, wrinkling his nose. “Mrs. Starrett, right, G?” At Georgie’s nod, he turns his head to Eddie, rolling his eyes. “She was a real yuh-you-know-what when we huh-had her. G-Guess she’s softened out a bit, huh?” 

“Yeah, she must… have…” Eddie trails off as they pull up to the pharmacy. “What the fuck?” He mutters. Richie Tozier is standing in front of the pharmacy, one leg propped up on the wall behind him, a cigarette dangling from his lips and a his hands in the pockets of a jean jacket. It is the most reasonable thing Eddie has ever seen him wear, and he looks unfairly good. His lean body and long, long legs, and curly black hair. It’s unfair that he looks that good when Eddie is wearing a cotton tee with the logo of the pharmacy on it and khaki pants. When he hops out of the door of the truck, Richie looks over and smiles so wide the cigar falls from his lips. “Richie?”

Richie stomps the cigar out before walking towards Eddie. “Eddie Spaghetti! Gosh, how I’ve missed thee.” He says the last part in an awful British accent, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie pushes him off immediately. 

“Don’t call me that,” he says, holding back the  _ fuckface  _ as Georgie hops from the truck. He turns his head to look up at Richie, who is grinning down at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, Eds,” he says. “Didn’t know you were bringing Big Bill along with ya!” He salutes to Bill, then wraps his arm around Eddie again, swinging them towards the front door of the pharmacy. When he speaks again, it’s in a low, serious voice. “So, Eds - I was thinking. Maybe after you get off your shift, we could get some ice cream or something. Ya know, just the two of us!” The last part is in some awful accent Eddie can’t even place, but he can sense the nerves behind the words. Eddie doesn’t get his hopes up, but he thinks - dare he think - that maybe it’s a  _ date _ . Richie’s grip on his shoulder tightens, and Eddie doesn’t shove him off this time. “What do you say, Spaghetti?” 

Eddie wants to ask. He doesn’t. Instead, he says, “In this?” He gestures at the outfit. 

The grip on his shoulders tightens, and then it’s gone all together. Eddie immediately misses it. “You look great, Spaghetti,” he says dismissively. He’s not looking at Eddie anymore, though. Instead he’s looking at something to the left of them, his eyes narrowed slightly. “If you want to change, though, we can always stop by your house.”

“I’ll be fine,” Eddie says, shaking his head. He begins to unlock the door, faintly hearing Bill stutter out an introduction of Richie and Georgie. He smiles when they immediately click, because of  _ course  _ Richie gets along with kids. He wings the door of the pharmacy open, kicking the door to a still stand and waiting for everyone else to come in. He’s grateful they’re here, because if not it would just be him and the one or two customers that are bound to come in on a Monday afternoon. 

Richie flips the lights on as he goes. Eddie stares after him. Bill winks.

* * *

The shift is long. Bill has to take Georgie home about three quarters of the way through, so it’s just Richie and Eddie sitting in an empty pharmacy. Richie planted himself on the countertop, flipping through magazines and eating the free candy Eddie had slipped to him. “You know,” Eddie says, sorting through medicines so he doesn’t have to look at Richie. “Your outfit isn’t actually horrendous today.”

“Thanks, Eds!” Richie says brightly. Eddie can feel the eyes burning holes in the side of his head, but he won’t dare to look up. “I dressed up just for you,” he adds, and the voice is bright but the hesitancy is there. 

Eddie snorts. “Shut up,” he says. “You’re so stupid. Why do I hang out with you?”  
It is supposed to be a joke, but there is something in Richie’s eyes that Eddie doesn’t like. “I don’t know,” Richie says, humming. “I guess it’s because of how irresistable I am, huh, Eds?”

_ Why don’t you go to school?  _ Eddie wants to ask him, but doesn’t. Instead, he counts the money in the cash register, locks the door, and they’re on their way. 

The ice cream parlor is slightly out of town. Eddie’s never been there before, but Richie swears on his life that it’s the best thing to ever exist. “They sell the best ice cream, Eds,” he tells him, looking at the parlor through the car window with bright, excited eyes. “You’ll love it. I know it.”

“How do you know what I love and don’t love?” Eddie asks. 

They both open their doors and get out of the car. 

“I know you, Spaghetti.”

“Obviously not if you keep calling me that. You know I hate when you call me Spaghetti.”

Richie rolls his eyes. “You know you love it, Eds.”

“It’s just a never-ending circle of nicknames with you, isn’t it?” Eddie asks in a flat tone. Richie opens the door for Eddie, bouncing his leg and smiling weirdly as he does it. Eddie pretends he isn’t blushing. “I mean - you go straight from Spaghetti to Eds. If it’s not that, it’s Spaghetti Man, or Eddie Spaghetti, or fucking, like. Edwin, or something.”

Richie wrinkles his nose. “I’ve never called you  _ Edwin _ before.”

“Well I didn’t just come up with it, did I?”

“Listen, Spagheds - don’t give me that look - you know you love my nicknames. They make you feel all tingly inside, like you ate some fucking bitterflies or whatever that weird shit is.” He runs a hands through his wild curls, smiling at the girl behind the counter. He looks back over at Eddie. “Hey, what do you want, anyways? Besides my sweet, sweet lovin’, that is.”

Eddie decides to ignore that last part. “Just vanilla is fine, thanks.”

He doesn’t realize until they’ve sat down that Richie paid for his ice cream. He almost says something about it, but decides to wait until next time, where he can just get Richie back by paying for  _ his  _ stuff. 

_ Shit. Next time?  _ Eddie looks over at the boy sitting across from his. Richie is a mess. He had about three bites of his ice cream, and there is already some of it on his chin. His hair has gotten insanely long - it was long when they met, but now it’s nearly down to his shoulders. Just a big, curly, naughty, beautiful mess of curls. Richie smiles at Eddie, and Eddie sees to crooked teeth and the crooked smile, and how one eyes is ever so slightly lower than the other. Something Eddie would never have noticed about anyone else, but this boy sitting across from him changes Eddie. And out of everyone Eddie ever thought he would have a  _ next time  _ with, it was most certainly not Richie Tozier. 

“Eds.”

“Hmm?” Eddie forces himself to glance away from Richie’s lips. 

“My eyes are up here,” he says, and when Eddie’s gaze reaches his eyes, they have a mischevious glint in them. Eddie’s cheeks burn up immediately. 

“Shut up.”

Richie laughs. “I’m just messing with you, Eds. It’s something that friends do.” He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Does Billy ever mess around with you?”

“Mess around?”  
“Yeah.” He stirs the ice cream around in his cup. “Like, joke with you.”

“Yeah. We mess around. Why?”

He looks down at the table again. “Just wondering, is all. He doesn’t seem like the type to really joke with people. Most of the things he says that make everyone laugh he always says on accident because he’s a fucking idiot.”

Eddie laughs. “I’m glad you like him.”

“Who’s to say I like him?”

“Because,” Eddie says, shaking his head, “you make fun of him. You make fun of the people you like, and flirt with the people you  _ like  _ like.”

Eddie doesn’t know where the last part came from. He has no idea what Richie acts like around people he  _ like  _ likes. ( _ Like  _ like? Where the fuck had that even come from? He’s not a fucking third grader.) If Eddie were to be honest with himself (which he never was), it was most likely him just being hopeful, because Richie flirts with  _ him _ , and maybe that means he  _ likes  _ him. Or maybe Richie is just flirty by nature. 

Fuck. Why is he thinking about Richie like that?

“Hmm.” Richie nods, smiling. “You’re a good observer, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie blushes. Looks down. Brings the spoon up to his mouth and takes a bite. 

They sit in silence, one that Eddie can’t decide whether it’s awkward or not. He messes with the sleeve of his uniform top. “So…”

Richie smiles at him, all crinkly eyes and slightly crooked teeth. “So. How is my favorite boy doing?”

Eddie laughs. “I’m good. And how is my least favorite boy doing?” He grins impossibly wide at Richie’s gasp, shaking his head. “You’re an idiot. Did you know that?”

And if Eddie can’t quite remember how Richie responded to his question because he was too busy admiring Richie’s eyelashes and his warm eyes and his cheekbones, then who cares?

**Author's Note:**

> this might suck, but this idea has been in my head for a really long time so I hope at least someone enjoys it!


End file.
